I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
