Don't make out with my wife yet
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
