Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
