hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
