she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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