are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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