If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
