Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
