D3 body, D1 cock
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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