Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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