Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
