if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
