Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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