he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
