what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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