I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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