I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
