we have pet lesbian snakes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
