did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
