I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
