Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
