Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
