I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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