is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
