I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
