What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it's like iHOP with fire
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
