weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
