My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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