I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
