They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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