Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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