i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
