So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
