I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
