you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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