someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
