is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
