His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Alive.
So much puke
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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