Soap is not a condiment
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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