The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
