the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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