I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
