Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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