He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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