And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
too bad you live with your parents still
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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