____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
