Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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