He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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