She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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