That's intense
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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