It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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