I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
