I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
