Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
