"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
