Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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