You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
