Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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