Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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