We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
