hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
