I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
