I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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