They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
