Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
