why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
