Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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