im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize