Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
