Do you still have your period?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
