oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize