you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
