He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
