No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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